So clearly, from the title, you can pretty much grasp where this is going. I feel like I can't win. My scan is January didn't show anything, and my most recent PAP smear was normal, so I thought that at 2 years, I was finally in the clear. WRONG! My CAT scan results came back and showed a few small masses in my abdomen, the largest measuring about an inch, and one appears to be retaining fluid. I didn't even know that shit was possible. The findings were consistent with carcinoma. I was sent for a PET scan yesterday, and now am waiting as patiently as I can for the results. I am trying to remain optimistic that the scan was wrong, but I am scared. This means more chemo, and possibly radiation. My body is just starting to feel better from my last treatments, and now I've got to put it through more. I don't want to be sick to my stomach all the time, lose my hair again, lose weight (and I don't have much that I can afford to lose), be in so much pain that I have to be in the hospital, and so much more. The thought of my husband having to watch me go through this again, is devastating. My children are losing out on some of their innocence and childhood, and there is nothing I can do to change it. There are so many things racing through my mind, but right now, I am just focusing on winning this fight. I have to get better for my family. I can't die, I refuse.
I am going to put on my big girl panties and give it everything I've got, and more. I don't EVER want to be in this place again.
Also a quick note, in a time like this, everyone asks what they can do to help, well...
The truth is, chemo is going to weaken my immune system, and my body will also not be able to heal on its own from trauma. So, I can't have people coming in and out to cook, clean, babysit, etc., but if everyone that can donate a few bucks does, I might be able to afford having my hubby take off on occasion without falling behind on all our bills. He doesn't get PTO, and money is tight now. It is only going to get worse, and any little bit helps.
You can donate to my GOFUNDME page from the button below.
Thank you for your time, and support.
I am going to put on my big girl panties and give it everything I've got, and more. I don't EVER want to be in this place again.
Also a quick note, in a time like this, everyone asks what they can do to help, well...
The truth is, chemo is going to weaken my immune system, and my body will also not be able to heal on its own from trauma. So, I can't have people coming in and out to cook, clean, babysit, etc., but if everyone that can donate a few bucks does, I might be able to afford having my hubby take off on occasion without falling behind on all our bills. He doesn't get PTO, and money is tight now. It is only going to get worse, and any little bit helps.
You can donate to my GOFUNDME page from the button below.
Thank you for your time, and support.